The Humbled Researcher: Why Not Being Preferred is Sometimes Awesome

When I first joined a major tech company, I had a clear vision of the researcher I wanted to be. I wanted to be the go-to person, the one leadership consulted, the researcher called upon for every project, even when timelines were tight. I saw that level of demand as a sign of success, a marker of my value as a UX researcher.

Then, something shifted. I was assigned to a project alongside another researcher, someone deeply experienced in a particular evaluation methodology. Her role was to train me, and at first, it seemed like a great learning opportunity. But very quickly, the training morphed into something else: she became my de facto supervisor. Not by any fault of her own, but because the lead researcher started communicating with me through her rather than directly. Soon, I found myself left out of meetings. My input was filtered through her responses. My presence seemed almost secondary.

For two weeks, I felt deflated. I struggled to wrap my head around an upcoming project, questioning my abilities and wondering if I even belonged in this prestigious environment. If I wasn’t being consulted, if I wasn’t seen as indispensable, what did that say about me as a researcher? Was I not good enough?

Then, I started noticing something else—something important. My colleague, the one who was constantly being pulled into meetings and given additional projects, was also constantly scrambling. She was flooded with last-minute video calls, urgent messages, and shifting priorities. She was visibly stressed. Watching her navigate that chaos, I had a realization: I’m glad that’s not me.

While she juggled multiple demands, I was able to calmly focus on my sessions. I had time to prep properly, to conduct research with thoughtfulness, to even do some pre-analysis as I went. The biggest benefit? I was able to leave work when I needed to and unplug on weekends to be with my family.

That experience taught me something I hadn’t considered before: I don’t need to be preferred. I don’t want to be the researcher who’s constantly pinged, pulled into urgent meetings, and expected to pivot at a moment’s notice. Does that mean I’m mediocre? Complacent? Not at all. It means I’m humble. I do great work, but I no longer equate my worth with how often I’m called upon. I can let someone else be the go-to while I focus on what I came into this field to do: conduct meaningful research that makes products better (and safer, if I may add my own touch).

For those of you just starting in UX, whether through your first job or through volunteer projects for your portfolio, take a moment to reflect. Are you able to be humble and be okay with not being the preferred researcher? How do you feel when someone else is given more responsibility? If you ever catch yourself feeling like an imposter, pause and observe what being preferred actually entails.

Then ask yourself again: Do I really want to be preferred?